Thank You’s suck

My 10 year old has bone cancer. She is doing well and remains in high spirits. But I am finding that along with a terminal illness comes many many many people wanting to do wonderful, generous things for her and for our family. People I have hardly spoken to have given us gifts of money, toys, a laptop…. The generosity has been downright, hands down, amazing, wonderful, beyond my wildest dreams. We are truly, fully, awesomly blessed to have so many who care.

I am just tired of saying thank you.  Don’t get me wrong… I appreciate what everyone is doing, and I am humbled beyond words… but it seems everyone wants to have an acknowledgement that thier gift changed our life in some way. It is draining and exhausting to come up with new ways to say Thank you.  Honestly, my focus is so much on my daughter that it is hard to focus enough on other people to tell them how much they touched us, helped us, thier generosity is appreciated, etc. It literally sucks a piece of me each time I have to do it. I am almost to the point that if I see another person bearing a gift I want to scream “TAKE IT BACK!!!” but then that would hurt thier feelings more,  and I will have more sucked from me trying to make it right.

So I take the gifts with a smile on my face and a thank you in my heart that works its way to my lips, then I spend hours trying to figure out how I will someday be able to pay it forward to someone else who is in need. Only when I pay it forward I will tell them that I don’t ever need a thank you, or want a thank you.